I had an especially awesome couple of days last week…I get on my good old trusty A train and look up and see a woman staring out the subway door windows like its a freaking depression medication commercial all while trying NOT to get woozie from the graphic CityMD ad.  My nausea only started changing directions as the guy above me literally interrupts my thoughts with his productive belch…while standing over me.
I switch trains at Columbus Circle and this train is jam (JAM) packed and I am standing in between a tone deaf woman “singing” about every third word of whatever song she is listening to and a woman whose apparent job it is to chew and click her gum like Rosie Perez…in any movie.  The woman next to the singing woman is picking stuff out of her teeth and flicking it to the ground (read: all of our shoes).  Can you Purell shoes?

Then I was riding in a cab home later that day and as we are cruising up the FDR, I notice my driver is jamming to his music.  Then the harmonica solo comes in (as any good song should have) and I realize it sounds quite crisp.  Yes, my cab driver is also playing the harmonica in the front of the cab.  #crushingit

Then the next morning that trains were especially horrible with the UN in session and the Pope coming to town.  There is no way to accurately portray just how crowded.  Of course there is this girl that not only refuses to hold on to the pole, but actually leans on it and uses her freaking butt cheeks to gather some balance all while squishing the hands of all those actually holding onto the pole with her back.  I aggressively flick my hand hoping she gets the drift.  Nope.  It’s about that time that a man who had been previously tucked nicely away in the corner decides it would be better to scoot to the middle and try to also squish his hand onto the pole. I stop caring and continue to read my book until I realize the pinching sensation I am feeling is coming from his OVERLY long fingernail pressing into my hand.  I am horrified and quickly move my hand down and make a face.  Back to my book…then not a minute later his sweaty hand is now resting against mine and two of his fingers are wrapping around mine.  No.  No sir.

You CANNOT make this stuff up.
#talesfromtheAtrain #talesfromtheDtrain #nyc #blondiesperception

So after much deliberation and at the suggestion of others, I am officially launching Blondie’s Perception!  Just my humorous look on this crazy life.  Follow me, tell your friends and hope you enjoy!

Blondie’s Perception:

It’s taken me a while to start this blog because I was waiting for the perfect beginning. The day that really just felt right…well, my friends…today is the day.

Last night I was able to attend a fancy schmancy industry dinner.  All in all it’s a great dinner and a fundraiser, so win/win.  After the dinner we were heading to the after party at a local bar.  I will admit, I looked nicer than I do on most days, but I’m pretty sure I just looked like, well…me.  My friend and I are walking down the sidewalk and this gentleman with his family comes running towards me yelling “I know you…I know you!”  (I do not know him).  I am assuming he is crazy OR thinks I am someone famous (easy mistake…I get it).  He grabs my hand and tries to pull me away from my friend and hug me.  All while yelling “I got her ring!  I got her ring!”  Please note:  he did not get my ring.  The takeaway from that one is that I have to practice being famous in order to be used to things like that.  Noted.

Then we go to the lovely after party.  I am talking with clients and industry friends and having an overall good time when this rando woman approaches me.  She uses no words, but just gestures at me to try to give me a piece of ice.  I didn’t realize what she was doing so the first piece of ice ended up down my shirt.  Awesome.  Then she held two pieces of ice in her hand and tried to…wait for it…put them in my mouth.  MY MOUTH.  First of all, no.  Second, use your words ma’am.  Finally, DO NOT put your filthy hands and probably drug laced ice near my face.  I became concerned when the ice melting on the bar ledge started looking cloudy, so immediately ran to the bathroom to hose myself down.  I will never know why…and that is the mystery I must live with forever now.

Well, last night was weird/awesome because you really cannot make that stuff up.

Happy Thursday.  And that my friends, is quite the way to welcome you to Blondie’s Perception!  #blondiesperception #crazy #nyc #talesfromaworkevent #donteatpoisonice